Jimmy Kimmel may be away from his eponymous late-night show for a summer break, but it still bears his name, no matter who the guest host is.
That’s what made its mockery of President Joe Biden’s confused remarks, all in the light of his recent COVID-19 diagnosis, even more shocking. And hilarious.
In a spoof video of what the president would sound like if he were announcing the infection via a paid political advertisement, “your pal Joey Sack-a-nickels” tells America he has COVID because “one of the neighborhood kids sneezed in my Ovaltine” and promised he’d “be right back to fixing the econ — econ — Matthew McConaughey?”
(The president’s diminishing mental returns have become so bad that, yes, even Jimmy Kimmel’s writers can’t ignore them. Of course, here at The Western Journal, we’ve been documenting his cognitive issues since the beginning of his campaign — and making sure America knows why they make him an unfit president. We’ll keep bringing readers the truth. You can help by subscribing.)
Thursday’s show, guest hosted by comedian/reality TV host/drag performer RuPaul, came on the day the 79-year-old president announced he had tested positive, according to Fox News. (RuPaul, not quite as generous, joked the White House had announced Biden was doing well “for a 300-year-old man.”)
“Joe said his symptoms are mild and he’ll be back to falling off his bike in no time,” RuPaul said, referencing Biden’s fall off of a bike in Delaware in June.
He added, “Biden hasn’t been this sick since the time he got scurvy on Noah’s Ark.”
Now, let’s preface this clip by saying it’s all the funnier given that the president seems to be dealing with the virus swimmingly. White House physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor said Saturday that the president’s “primary symptoms, though less troublesome, now include sore throat, rhinorrhea, loose cough and body aches.”
On Sunday, this had improved to the point where “[h]is predominant symptom now is sore throat” and he was still being treated with Tylenol, oral hydration and Paxlovid, the Pfizer drug shown to significantly reduce hospitalization for at-risk COVID patients.
That said, the fact this parody appeared Thursday — when the arc of the president’s physical health was uncertain — indicates just how obvious the downward arc of Biden’s cognitive health is to even the most liberal of observers, including the writers that spar with the scribes at Stephen Colbert’s “The Late Show” to see who can go further left in the 11:35 p.m. time slot.
The video began with the pro-forma “I’m Joe Biden, and I approve this message,” as seen in a real Biden campaign ad. The rest wasn’t voiced by the 46th president of the United States — although it certainly channeled his spirit.
“Hey, buckaroos, it’s your pal Joey Sack-a-nickels! As you’ve probably heard, I’ve got a case of the COVID,” the fake-Biden voiceover said over sounds of real-Biden coughing.
“One of the neighborhood kids sneezed in my Ovaltine, but I’m doing A-OK!” he continued.
“I’m vaxxed and boosted, guzzling jugs of Dr. McGoose’s Vigor Tonic,” the voiceover continued — over, among other things, an image of a jug of the fake old-timey cure-all.
“My only symptoms are a few sniffles and I can’t feel my right leg! And that’s only cause I fell asleep on the commode,” the voiceover continued, along with a PhotoShop of the president on the toilet.
“Believe me, kemosabe, this is nothing compared to the time my grandpappy caught Shepherd’s foot. They had to take him behind the lumberyard and put him down.”
“The point is, I’ll be right back to fixing the econ — econ — Matthew McConaughey?” a confused fake-Biden said over a montage of McConaughey beefcake photos. (The actor recently visited the White House to speak on gun violence.)
“Oh boy, he’s something else, huh? Never wears a shirt, good way to catch a cold,” fake-Biden continued. “Maybe that’s why he got COVID and I had to make this message for him. Anyway, feel better buddy! Now, what was I talking about?”
There’s a reason this is funny — and also very sad.
From the looks of things, Biden is recovering nicely from his bout with SARS-CoV-2. We couldn’t be happier and wish him the speediest of recoveries. We’re also thrilled “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is willing to address the elephant in the room — albeit several years too late, as is its wont.
The problem, alas, is that there’s no speedy recovery from this:
Joe Biden accidentally reads the part on the teleprompter that says “repeat the line” when they wanted him to say the line again lmfao pic.twitter.com/pS3GdXPe5N
Joe Biden addressed reparations by intimating that Black parents don’t know how to raise children. He said that Black parents should play the record player at night to educate their children. pic.twitter.com/vy2chQoxS7
In fact, it’s only gotten worse — and Biden has said he wants four more years when his term expires in January 2025.
America can’t afford that risk.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.